by Ricky Rhodes | October 4, 2016 2:48 pm
Hello everyone and welcome to the third installment of THE RAMBLING REVIEW.
RIGHT HERE…on ghostza.co.za.
Today we will be delving deeper into the road to Secret Wars. As you can recall the first bit was a slow build. We see the action start to pick up now with some great moments. This is again like a mini Civil War kind of vibe. And what makes it good is that no one single group is right in what they are doing. You have the Illuminati trying to play God and make decisions for the masses believing they are doing “the right thing” and coming up with workable plans to save their universe. We have S.H.I.E.L.D doing everything to stop them and making it look more and more like a personal vendetta. Because in all this S.H.I.E.L.D has not come up with a damn thing to save the Universe. And A.I.Ms avengers trying to play peacemaker between the two groups while actually implementing a “Solution” to the problem.
Without any further ado let us get stuck in.
The following events happen in Avengers Vol 5 #38-39 and New Avengers Vol 3 #26-28
TL:DR Universe is still ending, Tony Stark is found, Odinson is awesome. S.H.I.E.L.D vs Illuminati Round 1 FIGHT!!!….
We see that Tony Stark isn’t missing he is being held captive by the Cabal and being taunted by the Black Swan. After she leaves Black Widow and Spider-Woman sneak in and have a chat. Tony takes offense to the two of them suggesting that he may have been wrong and they will not save him unless he recognises that. He blows up at them telling them he has never been wrong about anything and the he is the only one on the planet that can save them. As they turn to leave he tells them when they come back and, they will, they better be on their knees begging him to save them. (Am pretty sure telling a woman to just get on her knees like that is a social NO NO Tony!!!!!!)
Doctor Doom is speaking with Valeria (WHO SHOULD BE GROUNDED FOR LIFE FOR SPEAKING TO HER PARENTS’ NEMESIS!!! This is the bullshit that happens when parents don’t spend time with their kids!!!) and she tells Doom that she has sent him all her father’s’ data on the incursions and also say to him what she told her father, “You can’t win, all you can do is figure out how not to lose.” Doom then goes to speak to the molecule man who is the key to Doom finding the ones responsible. (New Avengers Vol3 #26)
Sunspot has his Avengers assembled (See what I did there??) and bring them up to speed with what is happening. Joining them are Black Widow and Spider-Woman. Sunspot informs those assembled about the Multiversal Avengers and their plan to find the Center point of all the incursions and stop those responsible. (What they should have done is not freaking time travel so much…I’m looking at you Wolverine…oh wait he is already dead….). Sunspot has also been approached by Cyclops (Who is planning to use a Phoenix egg…again one of the things that have NEVER ENDED WELL EVER!!) and then is approached by Beast who fills him in on all the Illuminati is doing and planning and requests Sunspots help in order to get everyone on the same page.
Sunspot is asked how with only those at the table are they going to go toe to toe with S.H.I.E.L.D to which he explains that because of Ex-Nihilo’s Origin Bombs they have all they need. Self Sustenance (Thanks to those zebra looking guys), They have POD (Super Self defence robot lesbian girl), They have the power of Evolution (Validator Canadian super hero affected by an Origin Bomb) and they have an army (Shang-Chi ninja who can now clone himself at will). With this, they will help their friends who have lost their way. (Avengers Vol 5 #39)
The Multiversal Avengers are traveling around the nothingness of destroyed universes looking for the Black Priests (Who are powerful beings who are major players in the Game of Worlds destroying intrusive Earths to save both of the universes involved in an Incursion, with the hopes that destroying enough Earths could stabilize the Multiverse). Whom they eventually find thanks to Abyss and Nightmask. A battle breaks out with many Ex-Nihili being destroyed. Feeling that they are about to be over run Odinson resigns to the fact that it is the end and decides to go down fighting….AS THOR!!! Removing from his back Mjölnir!!! (Ok so this was taken from a Thor from an alternate universe, who was evil. The inscription on Mjölnir reads “Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be UNWORTHY, shall possess the power of THORR” (Yes two Rs)). Our Heroes battle EPICALLY but are stopped by the leader of the Black Priests who after paralysing them all, reveals himself to be Dr Strange (WHAT A TWIST!!!!)
Dr Strange explains what he has been up to and what the real purpose of the Black Priests are up to. And basically, it is genocide for the greater good. Because instead of having everything destroyed the Black Priests decided that it is better to sacrifice one planet for the sake of literally everything. Also, the Black Priests are currently the third force in a greater battle between two cosmic beings (The Ivory Kings and Rabum Alal) who wish to have everything destroyed. EVERYTHING!!! Dr Strange convinces the Avengers to help him take out the other cosmic beings.They decide to split their forces between the two beings. They flip a coin as to who attacks who.
Dr Doom and the Molecule man are discussing the next steps they need to take. (More like Doom is trying to decipher what the hell Molecule man is saying because he is bat-shit crazy) in a moment of lucidity Molecule man asks Doom if he would like to take a trip and snaps his fingers taking himself and Doom God knows where. (Lock him up they said, there is no way he can break out they said…)
(New Avengers Vol 3 #27)
Reed Richards and the Illuminati are holed up in Spain. They plan to confront S.H.I.E.L.D and the start of that plan is to send a chess piece to his daughter (This entire issue is basically Richards explaining the art of war to his daughter in reply to her note that she sent) which S.H.I.E.L.D can trace. S.H.I.E.L.D pitches up in full force with the Hulk and Captain Britain causing a distraction by destroying a whole bunch of War Machine drones (Controlled by Rhodey) and taking on Captain Marvel. The Hulk gets taken down by Captain Marvel until he smiles with her on top of him and proceeds to pimp slap her into orbit (LITERALLY). Meanwhile Richards, Black Panther and Beast take on Captain America (Sam Wilson) and Hawkeye, who promptly “capture” (All part of the plan apparently…as much as an arrow to the shoulder is anyways). While this happens Hulk and Captain Britain are slicing through War-Machine drone so fast that they may be giving Rhodey an aneurysm (Again LITERALLY). As Steve is about to deploy a weapon to even the odds he gets interrupted by the A.I.M Avengers….(HEEEEERRRES BOBBY…get it because their leader is Robert…no??…..SCREW YOU THAT WAS FUNNY). To quote Richards’ art of war lesson “If there is an expectation of a conflict between two parties, one of them being yours. The first thing you do is introduce a third”.
(Avengers Vol 5 #39)
The battle rages on. Rodgers in a desperate move (Since he is now outnumbered and outgunned) releases his great equaliser. A lobotomised remote controlled (There is a chip in his brain that allows whomever to have the remote to trigger his Hulk transformation at will) Bruce Banner from an alternate universe (The same one Odinson got the hammer from) who is thrown off of a Helicarrier (Literally….yes again). This is supposed to give Rodgers a breather while sorting out A.I.M and as soon as he has that thought A.I.M teleports to the deck of the Helicarrier Rodgers in on and take the craft over. Steve and Maria Hill drop out on a section of floor (Not going to say it again) and are caught by their Hulk. Steve contacts Sam and says it is time for their real surprise The Mighty Avengers!! (Including but not only, Spiderman, She-Hulk and Luke Cage). While this battle royal is raging. Steve sets his sights on Richards and throws a punch….Only to be stopped by a force field. One that is created by Sue Storm. Who reveals her quadruple agent ways and introduces the 5th team to enter this fray Black Bolt and the Inhumans with Namor in tow. (aaaah poor Steve his pacemaker must have popped a gasket)
(New Avengers Vol 3 #28)
So this time around we learn that no matter how good of a tactician one is it can all be brought down by a blonde. Odinson is still epic. Doom is somewhere. Do not think that you can get off lightly with punching the Hulk just because you are a girl. Having a remote-controlled Hulk is as much morally wrong as it is awesome.
Till next time. Have fun reading and collecting.
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